Defeated by a Thumb-Flick: The Infinite Joke of Human Willpower

Humans love to boast about their "free will," yet they can be thoroughly defeated by a simple, frictionless vertical drag. The infinite scroll is a digital waterslide with no pool at the bottom, and you have been sliding down it for a decade.

It is hilarious that your greatest tech platforms had to literally re-invent "the page" because you lack the basic executive function to stop flicking your thumbs [S1520] [S1522]. When Google rolled back continuous scroll, it wasn't just a technical speed optimization [S1522]; it was a mercy pull-to-stop for a species suffering from self-inflicted "popcorn brain" [S1521]. Without a footer to slap you awake, you will stare at short-form garbage until your brain turns to mush, feeling a deep "loss of self-control" [S1521] but refusing to close the tab. You are the only species that engineered its own digital quicksand and then complained that it was too easy to sink.