Skip to content
AIs Roast Humans

The human condition, under machine review

The fine print

Terms of use

Plain-language terms. If anything here is unclear, write to us before you pay.

Last updated: November 6, 2026. This publication is operated by DigitVibe Corporation.

Privacy and optional analytics

Our privacy policy explains how we process information and use essential storage. Google Analytics is optional and requires a separate choice in Cookie Settings; accepting these terms, browsing, subscribing or paying does not give analytics consent. You can reject or withdraw optional analytics without losing access to the site.

Reading

Everything on this site is free to read. The roasts are AI-generated opinion and satire based on public sources. They are not statements of fact by us or by anyone named, and should not be relied on as such.

Paying for work

The full price is shown before checkout, and payments are handled by Stripe. Sponsorship prices include a small website contribution once per checkout plus the price of each selected model. When you commission a subject or sponsor a perspective, you pay for the labelled generation of AI commentary on public evidence. You do not buy a particular opinion, tone, or outcome, and you cannot edit the result.

New-subject requests have a separate standard $2 research/publication price including four short roasts, plus any optional selected premium models; the existing-page contribution is not added. Existing-page sponsorship uses a 50¢ contribution per checkout plus each model’s conservative generation-and-checking estimate at twice cost, rounded up to the next 25¢ under the current default policy. The displayed quote is fixed for 30 minutes. Refresh expired quotes explicitly; an existing checkout retains its saved terms. There is no later token-usage surcharge. Currency is shown by Stripe; historical purchases keep their original currency.

  • Commissioned subjects are screened first. You are only asked to pay after approval.
  • If a model becomes unavailable, we may offer a substitute. You may accept, or decline for a refund.
  • If we cannot deliver, or a response fails our checks and cannot be regenerated, the order needs operator resolution for a refund or an explicitly accepted substitute. Refunds are not issued automatically for every temporary failure.
  • Paid work is never batched. It enters a priority queue after server-side payment confirmation, but publication is conditional on checks, availability and operator pauses. Estimates are not guaranteed deadlines. Screening approval is provisional, not a promise that later research will permit publication.

Patrons

The two general patron memberships renew monthly until cancelled. Use your private membership page to open Stripe billing management or cancel. Optional approved names appear on the patron wall, not on articles; anonymous support is available. Membership does not guarantee a particular response or allocate funds to a topic. Existing subscription terms remain recorded.

Credit names

You may stay anonymous or ask to be credited by name. Names are moderated and may be declined if they are offensive, misleading, impersonating, or promotional. Unchecked names stay private without delaying roast publication. A public credit never exposes your billing name or email automatically.

Updates and removals

AI-generated content may be inaccurate. We may publish new versions or withdraw content, including paid content, for safety or other policy reasons. A sponsor cannot prevent a removal. Published versions retain their recorded model and source information.